Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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