Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
