I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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