apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize