Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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