I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Farmville is her only friend.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
