everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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