I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
