Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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