O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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