it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
