the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
