I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
