im gay
i know
yea but for you.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
