I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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