you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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