whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
