Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
