I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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