I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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