I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
