Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
