How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Small penises have feelings too.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
