I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
