We're like a lot better than the average bears
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
