i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize