So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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