One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
