The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
