Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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