paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
