He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
two words: eviction party
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
