Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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