the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
