I must be too annoying 4 u.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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