butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize