I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
