i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
