Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
