He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
