i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
