I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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