i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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