I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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