God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
