It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
please don't ironically join a cult
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