Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
