Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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