So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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