I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
