If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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