i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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