Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she pinky promised me she was 18
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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