Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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