I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
NoShamevember. You game?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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