Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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