Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
