y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
