so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
